I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
