everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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