I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
