i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The air taste purple.
Randomize
