Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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