I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
