1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
