where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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