i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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