i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
