My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
organizing the empties. That sober.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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