wakey wakey hands off snakey
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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