I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
