My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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