I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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