i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
