it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
