let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
