have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love having hate sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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