i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
