it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
