these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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