i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
