I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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