this just has baby written all over it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
