i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
