I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
