awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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