I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
