I just saw a hot homeless man
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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