My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
