when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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