i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
