don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
