last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
