We're like a lot better than the average bears
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
