Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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