So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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