Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
