I hope mine doesn't look like that
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
