NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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