dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
