You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
