used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
