Umm I'm too high to move.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
