I puked a lego.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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