Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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