Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My hand turned me down
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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