I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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