Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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