lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
