I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
